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10 Surefire Ways To Get Me To Avoid Your Twitter Account

For those who have figured out how to use it, Twitter has become a great way to find useful information and to build online relationships. For those that haven’t, Twitter often looks like a big, jumbled-up mess of unstructured conversations. 

I can’t count the times that someone has told me that Twitter is “useless”, “too confusing”, or “just a place where people talk about what they ate for breakfast”.

Aside from the problem that Twitter.com is an unstructured, hot mess (hence the need for tools like TweetDeck and HootSuite), the jumble of information is contributed to by a lot of folks who:

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a) are new to Twitter and haven’t quite figured out what they are doing, or
b) don’t know the rules of the road, or
c) are posting content just to inflate their numbers

The problem is that many of these offenders, aren’t necessarily Twitter Noobs they are seasoned Twitter users who don’t see Twitter as an engagement opportunity, but more of an advertising platform or a “place to build their personal brand”.

So, this article is for everyone who has a Twitter account.

If you do the following things, it’s likely that I’m not going to follow you or retweet you (making you irrelevant to me on Twitter) and in some cases, I might even report you as a spammer.

If I’m not willing to follow you, it’s likely that others won’t, either. That means that you won’t grow your following and that limits your opportunity to leverage Twitter to its fullest.

#10) Don’t add a photo of yourself

If you don’t add a photo, it’ll be clear to me that you don’t take Twitter seriously enough for me to follow you.

Come on, be human. Make it a photo that represents who you are. Put some thought into it.

#9) Don’t add profile information

You’d be amazed how many people out there don’t have their profile information filled in. It doesn’t have to be in-depth, but tell me what you’re interested in and what you’ll tweet about.

#8 ) Only tweet your check-ins

Don’t just sign up to Twitter and connect it to FourSquare, Facebook, and other “check-in” apps and then only tweet where you are when you check-in. If we haven’t built a relationship, I don’t care where you are…unless you’re buying the coffee.

If you’re buying the coffee, let me know and I’ll be right there.

#7) Tweet a bunch of historic quotes – especially inaccurate ones

The number one thing that really chaps my @ss are people who can’t come up with something original of their own to say, so they just spend their time polluting the Twitter stream with quotes from famous people.

If you want to spend your entire day quoting Mark Twain or Ronald Regan, don’t expect me to follow you. If you spend all day creating quotes of things you said yourself at conferences or in blog posts…definitely a big no.

#6) Only retweet and never share an original thought

To piggy back on #7, it’s not okay just to retweet (a quote is just the ultimate historic retweet).

Do you have an original thought in your head or are you a social media parrot who can only engage by retweeting what other people say? Everyone has original thoughts, so share them. I’m sure there are some folks who might find them useful…maybe it might be me.

#5) Never tweet

Yes…seems kind of like a stupid requirement that someone actually tweet, but you I get a lot of ridiculous follows from people that have thousands of followers and follow thousands, yet…they somehow have zero tweets. Do you smell that? I smell Spam.

This account has thousands of Twitter followers and zero tweets
This account has thousands of followers…yet hasn’t tweeted a single time.

#4) Only talk about food

The only exception here is if you run a restaurant, are a chef, or are a food critic or blogger. Then it makes sense.

Hey, we all eat. Food is an integral part of staying alive and just as big a sucker for a good cupcake as the next guy. But don’t make it the only thing you tweet about. There are other aspects of life than the fact that you just ordered a double soy chai and it’s hot.

Duh…it’s supposed to be hot.

#3) Turn twitter into your own personal (yet public) text messaging system

I don’t need to know what the guy across the room at the club is wearing and whether he’s hot.

I’m not there…I’m not going to ask him to dance.

I don’t need to know what so-and-so said about so-and-so last week by the lockers and I certainly don’t need to know that your sister-in-law is not in your good graces because she slept with your man. I get it, you’re angry. Talk to them about it, don’t air your dirty laundry on Twitter.

#2) Don’t be a human

This one is for the corporate social media managers. If you only talk about your brand, talk about your company, and never talk about the people who are part of your organization, I’m not going to follow you.

I’m not engaged in social media to meet press releases. I’m not engaged in social media to meet products. I’m here to engage with people and I want to know the people in your organization.

#1) Spam me

Let’s see…a Twitter account mentions me and tells me that I need to click their link. So, they assume I’m just going to click away, right?

Wrong!! I’m not stupid.

I click their profile information and see that they have zero followers, follow zero people, and have no profile pic, and no profile info. Guess what, not only did you not get a click or a follow, you just got reported for spam.

This account has zero followers and an egg for a profile pic, yet they want me to click a link? No Thank You!
Spam me on Twitter and see where that gets you.

So there you have it.

10 things to make sure that I never read your tweets, never follow your account, and never engage with you (or your business) online.  I have a feeling that I’m not alone in this and others use these very same standards to deciding whether to follow an account, so if you engage in some or all of these tactics…enjoy your social media solitude.

Also, be sure to check out my other article 10 Surefire Ways To Get Me To Follow Your Twitter Account and if I have recently unfollowed you, it might be because You Suck! So I Unfollowed You On Twitter!

Have additional bad habits that should be added to the list? Add them in a comment below!

Cheers!

–Sean

So, this article is for everyone who has a Twitter account. If you do the following things, it’s likely that I’m not going to follow you or retweet you (making you irrelevant to me on Twitter) and in some cases, I might even report you as a spammer.

Shivainfotech

Monday 21st of August 2017

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Dede

Tuesday 7th of August 2012

You are so on the mark with your Top 10!! I have never understood why anyone thinks that constantly sharing their dinner selection or where they stopped for coffee with followers is of great interest to anyone! Many top social media people have forgotten what Social Media is all about and post only quotes and content from other sites! Nothing wrong with either, but if someone is not providing engaging dialogue or interesting content, then what is the reason to follow them?

Rann Patterson

Monday 16th of April 2012

Agree with all 10 in both articles! Very good:)

Niadin

Wednesday 3rd of August 2011

I love your tone!!

I recommend this article as a basis for small businesses trying to get a presence online, especially if you don't have the budget to employ someone to take care of your social media department. It's good to learn the basics!

Keith Morrell

Wednesday 3rd of August 2011

Interesting blog post Sean :). I've noticed many of the same with people following me and the odd person with 20000 followers and only following 50. I hate spammers too :o).